Our small three-legged cat Pixie sniffed suspiciously at the cat litter tray this morning and refused to enter it–and with good cause because it was a filthy and smelly affair, so I helpfully changed the litter for her.

Whereupon she stepped into the middle of the tray, turned around once, and emitted what can only be described as a horizontal jet of urine from her hind quarters which travelled a good two feet without losing momentum and sprayed up against the wall. This continued for quite a long time.

When the torrent subsided Pixie pawed the pristine cat litter in front of her a couple of times, sniffed it to check that, yes, amazingly it hardly smelled at all, and happily trotted off with the certainty of a job well done.

Behind her a vast pool of cat wee slowly advanced across the kitchen tiles, and I started grabbing hand-fulls of kitchen roll.

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